I'm still here

It's been awhile,
I've been very busy at home since finishing up with my job, but its about time I decided to update everyone on whats going on. This was my third week of not having a real job, The first week I spent trying to get my house and garage back in order. Lots of dishes, laundry, house and garage repairs etc. Week two was spent trying to get information and paperwork done for zoning, licensing, and all the governmental red tape I have to deal with. This past week was spent focusing on finding financing and actual business planning. I have high hopes after my weeks of work, none of it has been easy, but I guess nothing worth doing comes easy. I will say that even in this short amount of time our family has grown closer together. I've got more support from friends and family than I ever thought I would have, and I appreciate all the kind words and encouragement.

(insert political rant)
 I really hate the fact that the government feels compelled to rob me of the right to buy and sell cars, and then offer to sell me back those rights that should have been mine in the first place in return for a little cash and a test that makes me "legal" to do this. Lets not forget all the other stupid factors that come into play, like in order for me to sell cars for profit I have to have a dealers license, but in order for me to have that I have to have a building with office space and a 12x20 display....... what does an office and a display have to do with selling a car? Its this type of government overreach that stifles business and hurts the little people trying to get by, while at the same time helping the big business get bigger by weeding out any competition. Competition is what drives costs down and keeps businesses "lean" when the government makes it harder for new businesses to start up and compete not only is it bad for the consumer, but in my opinion its bad for the economy on the whole. I'll give an example using somewhat recent events, and someone that I find to be interesting.
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I can be pretty well assured that most people at face value will disagree with me on this, but If you put in some time reading about the man and actually listening to him, he is far less the criminal than the people that want to paint him as an enemy. He has done a perfect job of highlighting how governmental controls on a free market leave opportunity for someone with greed and power to take advantage of consumers that can't control their situation.. The patent for this drug was up in the 1950s.... that means anyone should be able to compete against his company to drive price back down.... oh wait...... the FDA regulates pharmaceuticals. It can take up to 5 years and millions of dollars for a drug to get FDA approval, in the meantime the company that has approval can charge whatever they want because there is no competition. If you consider the initial cost to develop, plus the risk involved in trying to get approval, why would any other drug manufacturer even waste the money to try for approval when another company already owns the market? Does this help the consumer? Absolutely not, why do you think drug prices are so high in the first place? The only reason people have recently become so in tune to the happenings of the drug companies, is because the health insurance has gotten so much worse. If the insurance pays for your drugs why would you care what they cost? This is a prime example of why the health care system is broken. Everyone wants to blame someone else for the extra costs because nobody has taken responsibility to say "hey why does my bill charge me $50 for gauze and alcohol wipes?"  Well I guess I've gone off on a bit of a tangent there. I wish people would look deeper into all of this crap with obamacare (ryancare) and realize the system is broken and deciding who has to eat the cost isn't going to change the root cause of the problem.

On to my next wonderful tangent. I found an old oil stove in my shed that I plan to heat my garage with....... there is something about the way things used to be built that just makes me happy. The stove was probably built around the 1940s to 1950s I'm pretty sure it was intended to run fuel oil. The fact that I could drag it out of the shed, vacuum years of mouse poop and junk out of it, tear it all apart and make it work again just amazes me. I feel like it was intended to last forever, when they were building it there was no study of materials or how can we cut costs.... I just picture someone saying "this is going to outlast the house we put it in" The best part is its gravity fed, requires no electricity and chances are I can retrofit it to burn waste oil...... best garage heater EVER!

Taking Pride in what you do

Playing on Facebook today and one of my friends posted a set of pictures along with a story. My friend drives tow truck and often posts things related to his job. This story is one of those in particular. I'll give a quick run down of what happened, so I can reference the story later.

Spring appears to be coming early and the ice is already melting, about a week ago on a certain lake in Wisconsin 2 trucks fell through the ice on the same lake, on the same day. One was relatively close to shore and one was quite a bit further onto the lake. The story was written by the son of the owner of one of the trucks. Apparently the tow company that pulled his dads truck out was very careless and didn't care about trying to keep it in good condition because "Its already totalled".  The other tow company that retrieved the other truck was very professional and knew what they were doing and managed to retrieve the truck with almost zero damage.

This brings me to my topic today, Taking pride in what you do. It doesn't matter what you do for work there is one thing that everyone should be able to do and that is take pride in their work. It doesn't matter if you build rockets for a living or sweep floors you should be trying to be the best damn rocket builder or floor sweeper there is. This story involved 2 tow drivers, one that took pride in his work, and one that was there for a paycheck. The aftermath is pretty obvious. Lets face the facts, work isn't fun.... if it was fun it wouldn't be called work, but the attitude you bring with you will directly affect what you and others will get out of it. Don't be like the asshat that was there for a paycheck, take pride in what you do, and work to be the best you can be. That is my challenge to you, take pride in your work.

I hope its a sign...

So lately I've been feeling like my career is headed in the wrong direction. The happy at work Ozzie seems to have died and been replaced with the "I hate my fucking job" Ozzie. After years of working to try to get somewhere I feel like I've become stagnant. The challenge is gone and so is the spark that keeps me happy. I'm only 29 years old, and the thought of feeling this way for another 30 years terrifies me. 

A month or so ago I began looking into a career change, I have a lot of interests and I have a love for learning that makes it relatively easy for me to take on new things.  As I was looking at all the different things I could be doing I realized that the one thing I love to do is finally at my fingertips. I'm going to start my own business, I am absolutely terrified, but at the same rate I feel confident in my abilities to do this. I've been trying to just ease my way into it while working at my current job, but trying to go to banks, or meet with people, or do pretty much during the work day is hard when you actually have a job. I've come to the conclusion that this is a leap of faith type of thing.... there is no easing into it, I have to jump.

So after talking it over with Anne this week we decided that I should put in my notice at my work, tonight when I came home I sat down at my computer to write it. I typically use open office to write on my computer but I don't have a desktop Icon so I just typed open in my search bar. What popped up was a document that I saved years ago and titled "Open on bad days" so I clicked it just for the sake of curiosity. This was the message that I left for my future self:

*not my words, probably copied from somewhere*

“If only…” These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

Here are ten choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them:

1.  Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it.  Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are.  So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you.  You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people.  Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.

2. Letting someone else create your dreams for you. – The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find.  A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams.  Do you have people who disagree with you?  Good.  It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path.  Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.

3. Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you.  Don’t let them get to you.  They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.  When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4. Being selfish and egotistical. – A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone.  Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired.  So carve your name on hearts, not stone.  What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.

5. Avoiding change and growth. – If you want to know your past look into your present conditions.  If you want to know your future look into your present actions.  You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back.  If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success.

6. Giving up when the going gets tough. – There are no failures, just results.  Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up.  Learn what you can and move on.  The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end.  Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory.  It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.

7. Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life should be touched, not strangled.  Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement.  Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight.  Take a deep breath.  When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward.  You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great.  Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots.

8. Settling for less than you deserve. – Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.  Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again.  Don’t settle.

9. Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t. 

10. Being lazy and wishy-washy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Take full responsibility for your life – take control.  You are important and you are needed.  It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday.  Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

 I'm still terrified, I have a wife and 2 kids that depend on me, but its time to take a leap. To any of my friends that read this, your support and encouragement would be appreciated. Wish me luck as I open the next chapter in my life. 

Don't forget where you came from

Its going to be another night of me ranting on my blog, but lately I've just been really frustrated by people that seem to have forgotten what it was like to be the little guy. Just because you've gone places in life doesn't mean you should change who you are or the way you treat people. I have no problem with a person being proud of their accomplishment, but don't forget where you started. I feel like lately I have been seeing people that have become successful start to act like somehow they are better than everyone else, or act like they got there without any help from anyone. I'm not discounting peoples hard work, but I don't know anyone that got there all by themselves. Everyone has had influence in their life, whether its from their parents or their heroes or someone else they looked up to. Everyone has had to learn from someone else to get to where they are. We all go through struggles, but the vast majority of the time there are people to help us along the way.

I'm writing this as a reminder don't let success change the way you are. Don't forget all the people that helped you along the way. Stay humble, because you may not always be on top. Success can come and go, but your character is a legacy that will follow you even after you're dead.

Valentines Day..... worthless

Its that day again, February 14th...... Valentines day. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't do holidays, they just aren't my thing, but this one annoys me more than most. Anyone that knows me knows how I feel about my wife so you would think I would love a day dedicated to showing her how much she means to me and making her happy. Not to mention the fun stuff guys get on Valentines day. I planned on writing more about my anti-Valentines day stance, but I want to just try to explain my feelings from a different angle rather than a critical one.

I want to start by saying one day a year is not enough to let someone know you love them, I'm sorry, but if you think one day of flowers and candy is enough to make your significant other burn with passion you are mistaken. Its a good excuse to step up your game one day a year, but real love takes work, and that work needs to happen often. The other thing about real love is it doesn't cost anything, all the money in the world can't buy someones heart. Like most holidays this day and age it has become another excuse to run to the store and spend hard earned money on throw away stuff with the intent to impress someone...... This is purely opinion on my part, but why in the world would I want to spend time away from my family working to make money, that I'm going to throw away on meaningless trinkets in an attempt to make someone happy. Instead I could spend less time working and more time with the ones I love without the distraction of the useless trinkets. I win, my kids win, and my wife wins, and I have less stress and more time.

Call me old fashioned, but I don't need one day a year to remind the one I love how much she means to me. Anne Rose Carothers, you are the love of my life and my world, I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you that every chance I get, and I don't need a stupid commercialized holiday to prove it. I encourage anyone reading this to take my advice, Its not about the stuff, the teddy bears, the chocolate, the roses, the one fancy date a year, its about how you interact with people that makes the difference. Show the one you love that you care every day, not by spending money, but by spending time, communicate, cuddle, kiss them good morning and kiss them goodnight. It means more than Valentines day ever could.

Participation Trophies

Lately my mom has been babysitting the kids on occasion so Anne and I can act like adults. She enjoys playing with the kids and they love going to see their grandma. The last time they went to visit she decided to break out the old game of checkers that we used to play when we were kids, and teach Griffon how to play. She was nice enough to send him home with it and he came home bragging about how good he was at checkers and begging me to play with him. I don't fault my mom for going easy on him...... that's what grandmas do. Unfortunately for my son I have a different outlook on life (or I'm just a colossal asshole) I don't believe in giving something that isn't earned. Our first game of checkers was an all out beatdown, our second game was a little better, but still really ugly. Here's the thing though, my son didn't give up, and in a very short amount of time he's gotten a heck of a lot better at playing checkers. He still hasn't got a win, but he has improved more than I would have expected in the short amount of time we've played. My son doesn't hate me, my son isn't crushed, I'm sure he isn't going to cry in his room and slit his wrists because I whipped his ass in checkers, but what he is doing is learning a valuable life lesson. He is learning that you have to earn a win, with practice, hard work, and persistence, and when he finally gets a win he is going to get all the pride that comes with knowing he's earned it.

Maybe I'm just a jerk, maybe I'm heartless and someday my son will grow up to hate me. That's the thing about being a parent, its pass or fail, and you only get one chance not to screw it up. I know that its my responsibility to my son, my daughter, and the rest of the world to raise my children to be good hard working adults, and that is what I intend to do. I'm not in the business of being my sons best friend, I'm in the business of being a father, and that is the main reason why this house doesn't believe in participation trophies.

It Runs!!!

Its been over a week not that my beloved Land Rover has been broken down in my garage. I've been messing with this and that and everything under the sun to figure out why it hasn't been running. A few weeks ago on my way to work it randomly died while going down the road and I had to tow it home. What I knew was that the fuel pump wouldn't run, if I manually powered up the fuel pump it would start and run. So after testing, testing, and testing some more I came to the conclusion that the ECU wasn't sending a signal to the fuel pump relay to turn it on. I assumed a bad ECU so I ordered a different one off car-part.com when it got here I swapped it out and guess what..... still wouldn't run. By this point I'm at my wits end with this thing, but after a bunch of reading on the internet I find out that the ECU has to also match the computer that controls the alarm. I finally broke down and asked for help on the Land Rover Trading Wall on facebook. Seeing the answers to my post was just about as frustrating as the fact that my truck was broke down. I asked the group if there was a do it yourself way to reprogram my computer so that I didn't have to pay a Land Rover dealership more than my truck was worth just to fix it. Most of the answers I got were "you bought a Land Rover, get ready to pay" or "I'll sell you both computers for $$$"

And then..... A Miracle!

I got a message today from a guy saying he could help me fix my Land Rover. He told me as long as I didn't mind losing my alarm he knew how to bypass the second computer that was keeping my truck from starting. HELL YES! He sent me his number and told me to call him when I get home and he would step me through it. So I call him and he tells me "Usually I don't offer to help people, but us Land Rover guys have to stick together, besides I didn't want to see you part one out just for something stupid like this"  Sure enough within 5 minutes he had me cut and splice 2 wires, turn the key with the new computer and....... still wont start. He said, why don't you try the old computer just in case, I plugged it in and sure enough it took right off. Apparently it was my alarm computer that went bad. He told me what it does is cut the fuel pump signal to the main ECU to disable the truck from running.  All I know is I'm happy as can be!

The story here isn't all that interesting, but what I find interesting is meeting someone that feels the same way as I do about my Land Rover. We talked on the phone like we had known each other forever because we had this one thing in common. Its not so much a Land Rover thing, as it is a British car thing, Its something that most people will never understand because you really have to have a few screws loose to enjoy it. When you get in a British car, a piece of it gets into you. They may not be the best, the fastest, and sure as hell aren't the most reliable, but what each and every one of them has is its own personality, a character that forms a bond with its owner. That's why I couldn't let the Disco die, and that's exactly why he felt the moral obligation to help me to save it.